To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
