i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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