Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
