I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I look better un-naked...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.