I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
A Guy Sent A Woman What May Be The Craziest Breakup Text Ever
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?