you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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