Texts From Last Night

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  (727): View more from Florida

  im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night

  (303): View more from Colorado

  lol who won

  (727): View more from Florida

  well im in the hospital right now so u tell me

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  (727): im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night (303): lol who won (727): well im in the hospital right now so u tell me http://tfl.nu/pmtb
  Replies (15) Good night (1612) Bad night (963)
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  (909): View more from California

  I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him

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  (909): I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him http://tfl.nu/axwb
  Replies (166) Good night (91643) Bad night (4416)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone

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  (708): Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone http://tfl.nu/40xl
  Replies (58) Good night (744) Bad night (3496)
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  (619): View more from California

  you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog

  (716): View more from New York

  do you not see the irony in that??

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  (619): you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog (716): do you not see the irony in that?? http://tfl.nu/h8wi
  Replies (73) Good night (16330) Bad night (1279)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.

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  (904): Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass. http://tfl.nu/z3do
  Replies (12) Good night (3324) Bad night (820)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.

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  (713): yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn. http://tfl.nu/bp9j
  Replies (38) Good night (4913) Bad night (2177)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.

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  (763): It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo. http://tfl.nu/heh2
  Replies (22) Good night (7082) Bad night (1436)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.

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  (732): people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself. http://tfl.nu/7r6x
  Replies (11) Good night (1353) Bad night (2904)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down

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  (303): We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down http://tfl.nu/easv
  Replies (12) Good night (4386) Bad night (947)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.

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  (540): Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft. http://tfl.nu/aaf2
  Replies (3) Good night (3108) Bad night (661)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis

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  (360): Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis http://tfl.nu/354f
  Replies (2) Good night (946) Bad night (714)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome

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  (507): If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome http://tfl.nu/ndd2
  Replies (4) Good night (900) Bad night (414)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.

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  (401): You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe. http://tfl.nu/pz97
  Replies (0) Good night (595) Bad night (310)
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  (315): View more from New York

  sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off

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  (315): sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off http://tfl.nu/l1w9
  Replies (0) Good night (731) Bad night (297)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.

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  (856): Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me. http://tfl.nu/z4xw
  Replies (2) Good night (476) Bad night (196)

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