Texts From Last Night

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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting

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  (405): Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting http://tfl.nu/elrq
  Replies (9) Good night (3439) Bad night (830)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..

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  (913): Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one.. http://tfl.nu/0qqy
  Replies (9) Good night (4203) Bad night (1126)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.

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  (325): I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well. http://tfl.nu/zrfa
  Replies (19) Good night (6834) Bad night (1265)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.

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  (512): there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby. http://tfl.nu/h3ux
  Replies (12) Good night (1291) Bad night (4665)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.

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  (207): I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs. http://tfl.nu/5epb
  Replies (10) Good night (3898) Bad night (1641)
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  (518): View more from New York

  it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.

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  (518): it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime. http://tfl.nu/6fla
  Replies (1) Good night (743) Bad night (1764)
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.

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  (731): Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us. http://tfl.nu/v50h
  Replies (6) Good night (2864) Bad night (683)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.

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  (979): We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing. http://tfl.nu/hvhg
  Replies (9) Good night (2121) Bad night (695)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye

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  (763): Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye http://tfl.nu/6gyi
  Replies (10) Good night (719) Bad night (1005)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.

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  (309): I almost lit my balls on fire tonight. http://tfl.nu/1whc
  Replies (10) Good night (524) Bad night (1203)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.

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  (330): Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out. http://tfl.nu/uvib
  Replies (7) Good night (907) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear

  (310): View more from California

  We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.

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  (310): The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear (310): We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics. http://tfl.nu/35z2
  Replies (6) Good night (1142) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni

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  (330): our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni http://tfl.nu/9cx8
  Replies (6) Good night (407) Bad night (252)
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  (44): View more from United Kingdom

  I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud

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  (44): I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud http://tfl.nu/s93d
  Replies (7) Good night (797) Bad night (251)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA

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  (330): lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA http://tfl.nu/ocjg
  Replies (5) Good night (209) Bad night (704)

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