I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
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An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
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THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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