If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
