I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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