I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
ugly people sure do ruin things
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
