im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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