dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
