The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize