I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
