Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
