What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
