i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
