Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
