covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
