It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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