you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
