Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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