I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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