If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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