i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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