Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
