Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
