The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
