its not stalking. its research.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
