i jhust puked up my retainher.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
