I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
