Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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