we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
