nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
