just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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