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Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
