how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize