i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
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