He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Randomize