Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.