Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?