Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!