Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.