come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?