Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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