Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
