we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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