just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
