her vagine was all disorganized.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
