spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
