big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I would fuck him just for his dog
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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