My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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