why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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