i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
