I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
