You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
