I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize