yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
