there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize