Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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