I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
This is the high leading the old right now
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
