There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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