thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
