i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Randomize
