i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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