After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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