You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
