did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
