he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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